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Teaching Life and History
Fresh from high school, I enrolled at the local community college. I had big dreams of getting through my two year program, finding a decent job, and coasting through life. Higher aspirations were non-existent or, if they did exist at all, were labelled dreams (and quickly put on a very dusty mental shelf). That all changed with a single conversation with a very influential teacher. I had just completed my first year of the program and, as a tradition, this professor invited each student into his office for a quick fifteen minute hear-to-heart. I signed up for a later time slot and planned to stay up late playing video games, sleep in, grab a late breakfast, and still make it on time.
I don't remember a lot of the conversation from that day, and that's ok. What I do remember changed my life in a drastic way. At some point, our talk turned to future plans. I mentioned that as long as I get a job, I'd be content. The professor took a moment, studying my face to make sure I was being honest. After satisfying his curiosity, he said, "Kevin, you can only get out of life what you give. If you shoot low, you'll hit low. You're better than that." This man had only known me for seven months. His words were strong and they hit home. Clearly, I've managed to make it past my college days and have done a lot more academically than I ever thought possible. More importantly, I've 'graduated' to a new challenge: parenting. Just like in life though, I'm only able to get out of my kids what I'm willing to give (yes, I did say kids. More on that in a future post). For instance, let's focus in on one specific topic: behaviours. My kids can only learn the behaviours they see. Sure, there are some elements of their personality that they'll undoubtedly pick up on their own, but the majority (arguably of course) of who they are is derived from what they see. In order to develop the 'right' behaviours (for example - honesty, curiosity, empathy, humour, kindness, gentleness, self-control, and so on), I need to be able to model those behaviours. To take this idea one step further, I need to cultivate a community of practice. This idea, first suggeted by Maria Droujkova, but brought to my attention through Erika Christakis' book The Importance of Being Little, states that the 'learner' must be part of a group of people actively using the desired skills all the time. In our concept, the learner is our child, the group of people a family unit, and desired skills are the identified behaviours. So, how can my little community of practice encourage the development of specific behaviours? There are a few methods we utilize.
What areas could you become a better role-model for your kids? Until next time.
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AuthorMy name is Kevin. I'm a husband, a dad and a historian, in that order. Archives
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